If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
