He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
