tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
