Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
