Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize