wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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