Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
