I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
