its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
