did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
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