He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize