Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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