Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
