I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
