im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
