quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
