This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
