Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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