She is in my trunk
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
