Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
