girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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