Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
