I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize