I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
