You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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