so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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