You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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