does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
