YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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