I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
