Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
PANTIES FOUND
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
