He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize