She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
