Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
