let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he laminated a picture of his dick.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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