NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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