were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize