have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
