Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
