she looked like the before picture.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
