He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
