You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
