Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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