I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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