I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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