The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
