And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
