my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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