did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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