just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
