What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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