11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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