Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
