Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
