Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
