your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
