Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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