I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
